Ramani Durvasula

folks with low self-esteem tend to be more self-reflective, they may be more likely to be circumspect and forgiving with their partners, which to the outside world makes them look like a narcissist’s doormat.

so-called chemistry is likely familiarity, not just the familiarity of the relationship but also the familiarity of being treated badly in a relationship—an ancient familiarity that resembles early patterns in their lives.

is irrational, and because it is “magical” or chemical, the irrationality gets romanticized.