The Narcissist's Playbook

Consequence: The result of a child having their reality denied is that they don't learn how to correctly interpret the messages their emotions are trying to send. Or, if this kind of invalidation is chronic, the child disconnects from certain emotions, such as hurt, sadness, or anger completely. As this child becomes an adult, they will most likely struggle with uncertainty and indecisiveness because they don't know how they feel or what they like or don't like. They often don't know when they are in emotional or physical pain, and in terms of relationships, they don't know when they are being mistreated, or how to respond if they are. They are quick to assume they are wrong and look to others for validation.

Minimizing and Invalidating

Minimizing and invalidating occur when the target's concerns are discounted or denied. This is usually done by blaming the target for being too sensitive, too emotional, unable to take a joke, twisting things around, looking for a fight, making a big deal out of nothing, being crazy, losing their hearing or memory, bringing up everything the target has ever done wrong, or accusing the target of bringing up these issues because the target has major issues with commitment.