The Chaos of Longing

feel the electricity
traveling through
the circuit of our sexes

i don’t know
what you’re looking
for and i hope
you never find it

it is easier to say
“fuck me harder”
than to say
“love me
and only me

i always end up

with more questions
than answers.

he only said
he loved me
when i was being
reprimanded.
that’s when i learned
i had to tempt chaos
to feel loved.

in time
i learned
he wasn’t so sweet.

garden

i trembled
on the vine
waiting to be
sampled by you.
the fruit of my flesh
unpeeled in complete surrender.

put your mouth on me
and break me open.
look into my eyes
and take me to paradise

when i dream of you tonight,
i will hold you hostage
underneath my eyelids.

manic depression

one moment life
is more pigmented
than technicolor.
glitter flows
through my veins
and the stars
in my eyes dilate
and burst
into delusions.

minutes, hours,
or days later
shades of blue and black
surround me like smoke.
glitter morphs
into chards of glass
and taunts every
breath i take

the galaxy is yours