Karen

People participate in or seek out coaching because they want things to be different. They are looking for change or they have important goals to reach. People come to coaching for lots of individual reasons. They are motivated to achieve specific goals: to write a book, to start a business, to have a healthier body. They come to coaching in order to be more effective or more satisfied at work or to develop new skills to help navigate life’s changes. Sometimes people want more from life—more peace of mind, more security, more impact in their work. And sometimes they want less—less confusion, less stress, less financial pressure. In general, they come to coaching because they want a better quality of life—more fulfillment, better balance—or a different process for accomplishing their life desires. Whatever the individual reason, it all starts with a stirring of motivation within the coachee.

this is a relationship—in fact an alliance—between two equals for the purpose of meeting the coachee’s needs

We start with this assertion: people are, by their very nature, creative, resourceful and whole. They are capable: capable of finding answers; capable of choosing; capable of taking action; capable of recovering when things don’t go as planned; and, especially, capable of learning. This capacity is wired into all human beings no matter their circumstances. In the Co-Active model it is more than a belief—it is a stand we take.

It is more of a broad attention, a soft focus that includes the whole person and the whole life, and involves listening on many levels. Too often, in our eagerness to be helpful, we access only the place between our ears. We use the mind to probe and understand and then create logical, pragmatic solutions.

Today, courses in mastering emotional intelligence are commonplace, thanks to the groundbreaking work of Daniel Goleman.

A decision in one area of life inevitably ripples through all areas of life. An exciting career move may be very fulfilling—but it may also affect health, family relationships, free time, geography. A coach can work effectively with a coachee on a very narrow topic; but in the Co-Active way, there is a larger picture also at play that includes the whole person.

Every conversation creates tone, mood, and nuance. There is as much information, sometimes more, in how the words are said versus the words chosen; sometimes there is more information in what is not said than what is said. For the coach, a conversation becomes an exercise in listening intently at many levels and, of course, choosing to respond, to intervene. The information about what to say or ask does not come from a script. It comes in the moment, in this moment, and then the next moment.

The motivation for the coaching could be a new job or promotion, improved fitness, or the execution of a business plan. In fact, the coachee may only have her attention on the specific goal for that specific topic.

The accomplishment is a message about who the coachee can be. There is a shift from the satisfaction of “ahh” to the breakthrough awareness of “aha”—a new strength, a renewed capacity—like finding muscles he didn’t know he had or had forgotten he had.

he choices we make during the day, no matter how trivial they may seem, contribute to creating a life that is more (or less) fulfilling. The decisions we make move us toward or away from better balance in our lives.