Bernardine Evaristo

love the script, must do it

in any case, ageing is nothing to be ashamed of
especially when the entire human race is in it together

t seems that she alone among her friends wants to celebrate getting older
because it’s such a privilege to not die prematurely

Amma was shorter, with African hips and thighs
perfect slave girl material one director told her when she walked into an audition for a play about Emancipation
whereupon she walked right back out again

she slept rough under the Embankment arches and in shop doorways along the Strand, was interviewed by a black housing association where she lied and cried about escaping a father who’d beaten her
the Jamaican housing officer wasn’t impressed, so you got beats, is it?
Dominique escalated her complaint to one of paternal sexual abuse, was given an emergency room in a hostel; eighteen months later, after tearful weekly calls to the housing office, she landed a one-bedroom housing association flat in a small fifties block in Bloomsbury
I did what I had to find a home

her father was a Nigerian student who vanished as soon as he finished his studies at the University of Aberdeen
he never said goodbye

his only concern for me is marriage and children
he thinks my acting career is a hobby until I have both

Dad’s a socialist who wants a revolution to improve the lot of all of mankind
literally
I tell Mum she married a patriarch

I let her know she’s an apologist for the patriarchy and complicit in a system that oppresses all women
she says human beings are complex
I tell her not to patronize me

Mum worked eight hours a day in paid employment, raised four children, maintained the home, made sure the patriarch’s dinner was on the table every night and his shirts were ironed every morning
meanwhile, he was off saving the world