Conversations with Friends, Sally Rooney
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Sally Rooney

Conversations with Friends

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Arina Koriandr
Arina Koriandrcompartió una citael año pasado
I had also never tasted fresh avocado before, though I didn’t tell Nick about that.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 8 horas
I had the sense that something in my life had ended, my image of myself as a whole or normal person maybe
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 8 horas
He wanted to reassure me, I could tell, but I wasn’t going to let him. People were always wanting me to show some weakness so they could reassure me. It made them feel worthy, I knew all about that.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citaayer
. I loved them both so much in this moment that I wanted to appear in front of them like a benevolent ghost and sprinkle blessings into their lives. Thank you, I wanted to say. Thank you both. You are my family now.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citaayer
I’m just a normal person, she said. When you get to like someone, you make them feel like they’re different from everyone else. You’re doing it with Nick, you did it with me once.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citaayer
She related to me as a person, maybe the only person, who understood her ferocious and frightening power over circumstances and people.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citaayer
I don’t know, I said. I’m just telling you that you can.

But is it something you want me to do?

You can do whatever you want with me.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
You’re twenty-one, said Melissa. You should be disastrously unhappy.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
It wasn’t a bad feeling, specifically; it was slightly amusing and crazy, like when you stand up from your chair and suddenly realise how drunk you are. But it was true. I was in love with him.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
That’s like foreplay for us. You say cryptic things I don’t understand, I give inadequate responses, you laugh at me, and then we have sex.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
It was more that Nick’s sympathy seemed unconditional, like he rooted for me regardless of how I acted, whereas Bobbi had strong principles that she applied to everyone, me included. I didn’t fear Nick’s bad judgement like I did Bobbi’s. He was happy to listen to me even when my thoughts were inconclusive, even when I told stories about my own behaviour that showed me in an unflattering light.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
I wanted to tell her that I missed her. That was what I had started to say, or thought about saying.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
I loved when he was available to me like this, when our relationship was like a Word document which we were writing and editing together, or a long private joke which nobody else could understand. I liked to feel that he was my collaborator.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
me: yes
me: capitalism harnesses ‘love’ for profit
me: love is the discursive practice and unpaid labour is the effect
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
comforted me to know that my friendship with Bobbi wasn’t confined to memory alone, and that textual evidence of her past fondness for me would survive her actual fondness if necessary.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 3 días
Was I kind to others? It was hard to nail down an answer. I worried that if I did turn out to have a personality, it would be one of the unkind ones. Did I only worry about this question because as a woman I felt required to put the needs of others before my own? Was ‘kindness’ just another term for submission in the face of conflict? These were the kind of things I wrote about in my diary as a teenager: as a feminist I have the right not to love anyone.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 6 días
All I could decide was whether or not to have sex with Nick; I couldn’t decide how to feel about it, or what it meant.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 6 días
I was reminded of her wildness, her tendency to get inside things and break them open, and I felt fearful of her, not for the first time. She wanted to expose something private about how I felt, to turn it from a secret into something else, a joke or a game.
Meriba
Meribacompartió una citahace 6 días
Out loud I said: Bobbi thinks depression is a humane response to the conditions of late capitalism.
Ivan P
Ivan Pcompartió una citahace 8 días
I could see a care label bunched inside the seam of the slip she was wearing, which destroyed the effect of reality for me, although the slip and its care label were undoubtedly themselves real. I concluded that some kinds of reality have an unrealistic effect, which made me think of the theorist Jean Baudrillard, though I had never read his books and these were probably not the issues his writing addressed.
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