Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

The expectations are endless: your one-and-only is your soul mate, the person with whom you are 100 percent sexually and emotionally compatible, your "other half" with whom you share the same values about everything. He or she will fulfill all your needsphysical, emotional, psychological, affectionate, financial, romantic, sexual, and spiritual. If you are truly in love, you will never have any desire for anything from anyone else.

There's this part of me that's still dealing with that "as a woman you're not complete unless you have somebody" cultural thing.

Everyone does nonmonogamy differently. Each story and each relationship is unique.

This is based on the notion that love is a quantifiable thing: If you have 100 pounds of love, you can give 100 pounds to your partner, but if you have multiple partners, you have to split the 100 pounds between them. Intimacy is about being willing to be open, honest, and vulnerable with your partner and bonding on a deep level. Monogamy does not automatically foster intimacy in a relationship, any more than nonmonogamy fosters a lack of intimacy Furthermore, nonmonogamous relationships often involve the same level of commitment as monogamous ones. People in nonmonogamous relationships are not avoiding intimacy or commitment, they are cultivating a relationship style that meets their needs and works for them