A Joosr Guide to… Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute

Thinking outside of the box is all about changing how we view ourselves and others.

You start by recognizing that you are thinking and acting from within a box. Remember—if we don’t know or accept that we have a problem, there is no way to fix it. Once you realize that you’re in the box, you then have to want to get out. Just having the desire to get out of the box and improve your relationships is akin to actually opening the box and taking the first huge step out of it.

If you want the best from your employees, look for the best in them.

Think about how you would want to be confronted by a superior. What qualities could they display that you would not only respect, but admire? How could they get their message across so as to make you feel a sense of loyalty, like you would do anything to avoid letting them down? You should treat your employees the same way.

As leaders, we should want others to value us, choosing to work with us for the betterment of a relationship or cause. Fear and intimidation won’t cultivate these feelings.

These are all examples of self-betrayal. You had a choice: to honor your instinct to do good, or to betray it.

This usually means we focus on another person’s negative qualities, concentrating on why they didn’t “deserve” our help. This may make us feel better about ourselves, but it also causes us to feel negatively toward others.

You can’t do anything about a problem if you don’t realize that you have one. Learning that you’re in the box is the first step toward getting out of it.

Most leaders who display such negative qualities do so because of self-made boundaries. They have confined themselves to a box of limited thinking, known as self-deception.

If an organization takes care to look after both its bottom line and the happiness of its employees, this culture of consideration will encourage everyone to work harder—for themselves, for the company, and for each other.