Lungs

Look, alright, listen, you have to understand alright, I’m thinking out loud here so please just let me talk just let me think it through out loud please

I wish I’d read more when I was younger. Or just, maybe slept with more people. Or travelled. It’s going to be harder to travel now you know,

W
I did some maths. How many plane trips? London to New York?
M
I
W
two thousand five hundred and fifty.
M
two / thousand
W
I could fly to New York and back every day for seven years and still not leave a carbon footprint as big as if I have a child.
M
You’re having second thoughts.
W
Ten thousand tonnes of CO
2
. That’s the weight of the Eiffel Tower. I’d be giving birth to the Eiffel Tower.
M
You / wouldn’t be giving
W
and if we had a second it doesn’t just double because the chances of them reproducing and how many they might have and how many their children’s children might have and how many their children’s children’s children might have that goes up exponentially.
Fuck recycling or electric cars, fuck energy efficient fucking light bulbs, unless educated, thoughtful people like us stop making babies the world is totally fucking fucked.
M
We should talk about this.

because it’s important probably the most important thing you could do to bring another person a yes a
person

it’s just this picture of my life I’ve always had since I was able to think and I’ve never ever questioned it. Never.

and yes
vomit
even it’s all part of it, looking after it, caring for it that’s I think that’s the impulse

and adorable and with that milky head smell and the tiny socks and giggles

or singing to it reading Beatrix Potter or Dr Seus,

it’s always been an image,
I guess, of myself with a bump and glowing in that motherly

And I’ve pushed it all down and focussed on my career, on my studies, on myself