Iyanla Vanzant

In some unfortunate situations, we can want love or acceptance so badly that we will do almost anything to get it.

Even when we have boundaries or standards clearly defining what we will do, how we will do it in the name of love, and what we expect in return, there never seems to be enough love to fill the void we have all, at one time or another, felt in our hearts.

In the meantime, people often forget to say what they mean or mean what they say because they assume you already know.

People cannot fulfill your needs. They may want to, they may try to. They may convince you that they can, but they cannot. What people can do for one another is make the need seem less urgent.

We help one another replace a pressing need with something else. In the meantime, the need does not disappear. It dissipates.

Because you fear being alone, or because you believe you cannot have what you want in a relationship, you accept the first person who comes along, only to be left, beaten, ripped off, or impregnated and then left, beaten, ripped off.

Because someone is nice to you and you are not used to it, you don’t know how to say no to them when you realize they are not who you want.

Unfortunately, when you are fighting in a relationship, if you are not clear about your intent, or if you are resistant to knowing the truth, you will get hurt.

Whether you are in the midst of a divorce, separation, breakup, or a heated argument, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to avoid the temptation to blame the other person for what you are feeling.

It is a therapeutic review of your beliefs, notions, ideas, and perceptions of what love is all about.