Why Don't We Listen Better?

You can listen your way to better relationships. This often humorous book, loaded with practical tips, examples, and techniques, will bail you out of touchy situations. Dr. Jim Petersen's powerfully intuitive yet tongue-in-cheek Flat Brain Theory shows how and why we get upset and confused and what to do about it. We may think we’re good listeners, but not many of us are. When others talk, we focus on what we think, rather than what they are trying to say.

Few of us know how to use the power of listening to improve life for ourselves or those around us. Jim says that good communication uses the same skills in a professional office, on a date, in a corporate boardroom, or at a kitchen table. He discusses the need to abandon the win-lose mentality of the courtroom-like culture that so often puts us at odds with each other. “Listen” shows how to improve talking and listening skills using the Talker-Listener Card. This creative use of the “taking turns” we learned as children can end arguing as we know it. He presents more than thirty time-tested listening techniques to help you deal with common communication land mines and listen your way to better relationships, from intimate to casual and work-related.

Petersen’s pièce de résistance, the inventive Talker-Listener Card is practical, easy to use and portable, a format that elevates idle banter and argument into the arena of authentic dialogue. When people use the card they help each other relax, think clearer and build empathy and cooperation. He includes chapters on using the Card to improve listening with couples, difficult groups and as a family dinner table game. It along with the book are great resources for counselors and counselees.

Why Don’t We Listen Better? presents other original easy-to-use tools and techniques to help people develop skills at what he calls come-alive communication. E-book Apps are great ways to get the most out of this book. It is organized in short sections, labeled in the Table of Contents so you can click on and immediately find the technique or idea you want to review. The thirty listening techniques can travel with you, get you started improving your relationships and help you listen effectively. His insights will give you creative ways to handle both daily interactions and the difficult situations of anger, grief and conflict.

This veteran counselor’s unique approach to listening has changed lives. He distilled forty plus years of pastoral experience, counseling and teaching into this informal volume loaded with practical tips, examples, and techniques to practice. An experienced seminar and workshop leader, Jim has taught his practical techniques to corporate clients, city governments, colleges and universities, the hearing-impaired community, students, teachers, parents, couples and churches. The informal manner that endears him to novices and experts alike is reflected in this valuable book for anyone who communicates with others.

In retirement Jim maintains a counseling practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon, specializing in counseling couples and teaching effective communication. His degrees include a Master of Divinity and Doctor of Ministry from San Francisco Theological Seminary and a BA in mathematics from Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon.