Getting to Yes with Yourself

To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence

The crowning move is to shift our basic underlying attitude toward others from taking to giving. At first we may give in order to receive, then we learn to give without receiving a direct return, and finally we learn to give in fulfillment of our purpose

Starting the negotiations by focusing on what they could give each other, rather than what they could take resulted in a genuine win-win outcome.

The gift that Abraham discovered in himself was to show kindness to strangers. He learned to let his light shine on others. What I have come to appreciate is that perhaps each of us is a bit like Abraham, called to embark on a journey into the unknown. Each of us is given a certain gift that is ours to give, a light within. It is simply up to us to clean the window that looks out and to let our light shine for others.

Giving in the first instance can simply mean looking for mutual gain, helping others at the same time as we help ourselves. That is the essence of win-win negotiation

One final challenge remains in the process of getting to yes with yourself: to change the win-lose mindset that so often prevents us from arriving at mutually satisfying solutions

The deeper we go inside ourselves, the farther we can go outside

If there is a single lesson I have learned, it is this: in life, we are destined to lose many things. That is the nature of life. Never mind. Just don’t lose the present. Nothing is worth it. There is nothing more important than “this,” the fullness of life right now.

We can visit the past from time to time to learn from it and we can visit the future to plan and take necessary precautions, but we make our home in the only place where we can make positive change happen: in the present moment

We may have no power to change the past, but we do have the power to change the meaning we assign to it