Conversations on Love

‘Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.’

When I asked psychiatrist Dr Megan Poe why people lose their sense of self in relationships, she said it’s sometimes because they’re trying to ‘echo-locate the other and not reveal the self’ and merge with them.

during a marriage our partners change and we will too; consequently, we have to find ways of renegotiating, creating new marriages. I agree with her. I sometimes say: the best marriages – by which I mean the strongest, most resilient marriages – are remarriages to the same person. Strengthened by working through their difficulties, these couples rediscover or find new aspects to love in their partner, rather than seeking another.