Postscript

This is the problem with loving and losing, with holding on and letting go, with being held and then released, reconnecting and then disconnecting. There’s always another side to the coin, there is no middle ground. But I must find it. I can’t lose myself again. I must rationalise, I must locate myself, ground myself, put everything in perspective. I must not make everything about me, my feelings, my needs, my desires, my losses. I must stop feeling so deeply but I must not be numb; I must move on but I must not forget; I must be happy but not reject sadness; I must embrace, but not cling; I must deal with but not dwell on; I must confront but not attack; I must eliminate but not annihilate; I must be gentle with myself but I must be strong. How can my mind be at one when my heart is in two? So many things to be and not be; I am nothing but I’m everything, yet I must, I must, I must.

But an argument is never really over just one thing. It’s the creature that feeds off its host, and it leaves me wondering what exactly we are arguing about.

He’s built like a house and I could live inside his hug

Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

but the longer you remain submerged, the more you acclimatise. The cold, like the darkness, can become a deceptive comfort you never want to leave.

We don’t always remember how we met, we often remember how we parted.

I’ve come to believe that at different times of our lives we are drawn to certain people for various reasons, mainly because that version of ourselves is connected to that version of them at that particular time. If you stick at it, work at it, you can grow in different directions together. Sometimes you get pulled apart, but I believe there is the right person, the one, for all the different versions of yourself.

we may have had different rhythms but we were always in sync.

Don’t look death in the eye, don’t let it see you, don’t let it know you’re there; head down, eyes averted; don’t choose me, don’t pick me. By the rules of nature, it is programmed into us that we must root for life to win.

Humans possess insatiable longings for wealth, status, and power, but are hungry, most of all, for love.